Friday, March 30, 2012

Do you have time to... cuddle?

I had a reality check this morning. Seems to happen consistently in the morning. Maybe it is because I feel my best that early in the morning. I have usually read my bible, prayed with my husband, prayed by myself and I've usually had coffee and breakfast.
This morning I had only gotten in the prayer time with my husband when I had this morning time wake up call.

5:30 am. Early to some, this is normal for us. I should be sitting down to breakfast, coffee and an open bible but my husband is still rushing to grab everything and head out the door. Iden (our 5 year old), loves for daddy to say goodbye before he leaves for work... this morning he heard daddy heading for the door and came out of his room for his hug.

No big deal.

Then Phillip accidently spilled some coffee on the counter ledge and his lunch box while bending over for the morning squeeze.
He reacted and got frustrated.

Iden asked if he could stay out in the living room and sleep on the couch. We both quickly said, "no, it's too early, get back in bed." I can see the hurt as Iden heads back to his room. He wants something more than just sleeping on the couch.

Phillip is out the door, I am heading to Iden's room.

There he is, I can see his sweet face in the glow of his nightlight. He is snuggled up under his covers. Then he sees me and quietly whispers words that open my eyes...

"Mommy, do you have time to cuddle?"

What? Do I have time? Does my child really have to ask me if I have time for that? Does he need to ask for time to hug, kiss, cuddle, sit... really anything from me?

When did I get so busy with the simple things around the house (cleaning, laundry, picking up, making meals, changing diapers) that I have run out of time for my little men? To just be there to love on them when they crave it, to listen, to laugh, to teach, to learn? I am missing so many moments because I CLAIM to be so busy?

I want to be more intentional. I really want to pursue that. I want to hug more, and be frustrated less. I want to see them the way God does. OPEN MY EYES!

I immediately hopped into bed with him and scooped him close to me (difficult with the massive belly). What a moment that was. Flashes from the past almost 6 years started flowing through my mind. He falls asleep and begins to breath heavy in my arms. Soak this in. Remember this moment. Be filled with thanks and joy. This boy is now so big and tall and is constantly growing... I don't want him to grow in a direction away from me.

I want him to know that I am here.
My arms are open and so is my heart.
Mommy shouldn't always be angry and tired.
Mommy loves you so much sweet boy.

Thankful for starting the morning, before coffee and breakfast, with my sweet and compassionate son. That this morning he still wants to snuggle with his mama... one day he won't and my heart will break.

Go cuddle your sweet munchkins while you can.
Show them you love them.
Be thankful for those moments.
Don't let them slip by as routine.


Wednesday, March 28, 2012


I have a journal.
There is nothing written in it.
I've had it for a few weeks.

The purpose of this journal was for me to intentionally seek out things to be thankful for in our everyday crazy home. I got it on clearance at Target but it has some of my favorite colors and is an adorable pattern. Makes me happy :]
So why is it empty?
Because I'm looking for the right moment. I'm waiting for the right day.
Have you ever done this? I've done it alot.
I'll start working out on the first of the month.
I'll start reading my bible on Sunday.
I'll start eating right at the new year.
I'll have a better attitude in the morning.
I'll drink more water tomorrow.
I'll stop eating so many Girl Scout Cookies after this box.

We want the fresh start at the beginning. At least I do. So at first I decided to wait until a Sunday because that was the start of the week. Then, I wanted to follow the Joy Dare exactly... but I couldn't find things on that day that matched right... so I waited until the next day. Then, I wanted for my first note of thankfulness to be something written beautifully and something amazing. It wasn't happening that day. Excuses. Set backs. Expectations. I am missing everything around me.

It hit me this morning as I was laying clothes out on my bed to hang up... I'm passing by so many moments of gratitude because I'm wanting some poetic, beautiful moment to begin. Why?
I don't need to start fresh at the beginning of the day/week/month/year.
I don't need to begin with the most beautiful moment to give thanks.

Begin where you are. Life is messy. I am a mess. God called me as I am.
I don't want my expectations to lose sight of the things that I am thankful for. The things that I could be passing by seeing them as mess, as routine, as small. So this morning I looked around and found so many little things that made me smile, filled me with joy, made me laugh... that I am so thankful to God for opening my eyes to.

~ The mess of DVD's that Gage proudly pulled out of the basket.
~ Iden's super hero's on the floor, I can hear his imagination and play.
~ Dishes in the sink, thankful for the food that God provided to make them that way.
~ Little socks laying on the floor in my room.
~ The chairs that my children sit in at the table to hold hands and pray over meals.
~ Sweet baby, stretching out my skin and leaving marks for me to remember these months.
~ Kisses from my husband.
~ The sun shining through the windows.

God, open my eyes to see. To see the small and the great moments. The beautiful and the messy. Help me to soak it all in, to be filled with gratitude.

The day is starting. My journal is no longer empty and I am ready to seek God's blessings.


Saturday, March 17, 2012


I'm up later than usual tonight. The day was filled with craziness. But family is in town and that has been great. I got to spend some sweet, long overdue time with my teenage cousin. I'm so proud of her and all that she has accomplished. She is one smart cookie! It was awesome seeing her play with Iden & Gage, they adore her now!

This past Thursday night Iden was complaining of his belly hurting. Honestly, Phillip and I didn't think twice about it because this little boy "cries wolf" constantly. So we ignored it, put him to bed and we got into bed. Less than 2 hours later Iden threw up all over himself and his bed. Poor guy. When this guy gets sick it is mainly respiratory issues, never stomach. He hasn't thrown up since we first moved into this house (almost 3 years ago) and that was because he ate a ball of the cookie dough for peanut butter cookies that was sitting on the counter waiting to go in the oven.
I was worried. His baptism was coming up and I was worried we would have to cancel. I had this stomach bug almost 2 weeks ago and it lasted a few days for me. But, my little guy is resilient. He was fine the next morning! Praise God!
Now we have another issue. Today around 6, Phillip told me that he was starting to feel nauseous. He has steadily been feeling worse throughout the night. He even turned down chicken noodle soup! This man of mine never says no to a meal! So, now I am praying like crazy that this sickness leaves my husbands body so he can baptize our sweet boy tomorrow. Phillip is determined to baptize Iden, we will not let the devil get in the way of Iden wanting to serve God!
Please pray with me for Phillip to feel better and for a wonderful day of celebrating tomorrow! I can't wait to post pictures and write about it, I am one proud and joyful mama!


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Well, life is just crazy. I planned on doing the Joy Dare and keeping track of the many little and amazing things that God has blessed me with. Then I got sick and was lethargic and in bed for almost an entire week. I didn't write anything down, I didn't take any pictures (I also wanted to start doing a picture a day). But, I was able to rest thanks to my wonderful hubby. I was able to still read my daily bible reading... or have it read to me thanks to my Kindle Fire.

I keep saying that I want to blog more. I am actually going to schedule times and days for me to get this done. Sounds crazy but I think I need time to write, vent, show thankfulness, share about my family and maybe even brag/share about the craftsy and organizing things that I'm doing. Tuesday I think (it might change) will be for updates and Thankfulness. Thankful Tuesdays? Yeah, I'm feeling it.

Well, I already told you about the goodness of God in providing for us financially in a time that we really, REALLY needed it. He is so good. Well, he is continuing to show his goodness and provide for us in the process of searching for a new family vehicle. Currently we have a little Honda Civic. We love it. It worked for us when we were a family of 4 and only needing to load up 2 kids in 2 carseats. But now, very soon, we will have 3 little men in 3 carseats. Woah! That wouldn't fit in the Civic. We knew we needed another vehicle before our smallest guy gets here.

We prayed that God would provide the finances. He did. He is so good. Now we were praying that God would provide the right vehicle at the right amount. He is doing that. I posted a quick status on Facebook about needing a mini-van under $5,000 if anyone knows of good deals let me know. Within minutes a great friend replied that they are needing to sell their van to get something bigger. All of the details are falling into place and I truly know that it is God working to provide and show us that we are not forgotten. We are so very thankful for this family that is in our lives and the right circumstances at the right time.

Those are some big things that I am thankful for... I need to be thankful for the little things as well.

* My children. Goodness they are so beautiful.
* Prayer with my husband in the morning. It feels my heart with so much joy.
* Coffee. Man, 4:30/5:00 sometimes comes too early.
* Little kicks from a little baby. We have decided on a name and I cannot wait to hold him.
* Less than 7 weeks left to enjoy pregnancy. Praise God this baby is coming soon!

Have a wonderful day.

Friday, March 2, 2012

The Goodness of God.

I just need to express that God is so good.

I am very much a person that worries and will stress about any and every little detail of everything. Giving things to the Lord, trusting that he will provide, that he will help me and my family... that he will satisfy all of our needs... well, that has not come easy for me. I want to hold tight to my problems and worries and see that they are taken care of, that they are remembered and dealt with in MY time. But I have been learning.

My husband and I have another sweet son on the way very soon (about 8 weeks left soon!). With having a third child we realized that we needed a new car, a bigger car. I am a stay at home mama and currently my amazing hardworking hubby doesn't make as much as he'd like. We had no idea how we would be able to afford a mini-van. But God is good and he had a plan to provide for us.

Our plan became that we would use whatever money we receive from our tax returns to buy a new car. We were unsure how the taxes would look due to this being the first year that we are filing without me working, also, my husband received unemployment benefits and was out of work on and off. We were uncertain how much would be there.

Then the unexpected happened. Our main reliable car that gets us from A to B, well, that broke down. Something within the engine that would ultimately cost us close to $2000 to repair. We didn't have that much money lying around so onto the credit card we went. How are we going to afford the mini-van now?! Regardless, we needed to trust. We needed to have faith that God is our help and our provider. He will satisfy this need.

The day finally came that we were able to go in and get our taxes done. Nervous and worried as well as anxious. The tax preparer finally shows us how much we'll get from Federal. I can't speak. Plus, the amount from state. Don't cry, Becky. Don't cry. God you are so good. I look at my husband and can tell he has the same emotions going through him as well. God you went beyond what we expected.

Ultimately, due to God's goodness and grace we should have enough to buy a mini-van for our family, fix another car that we own (then sell it), then pay off one of our credit cards, and possibly have enough to place into savings. We were floored and knew that this would not have happened without God's willingness to provide after we had the willingness to trust in him. Thank you Jesus!

I love when something amazing happens and then you are able to have conversations that directly reflect that. I go to an amazing Mommy Bible Study group and today we talked about having a spirit of gratitude. Some days I feel that I am doing much better with this. Then there are other days where I am bitter that my great family is not blessed in the ways that I want us to be blessed! (I'm ridiculous I know). But I am going to take the Joy Dare that is on Ann Voskamp's website and begin recording the things that I am thankful for that the Lord was gracious enough to place into my life.

Here is the link to the March Joy Dare:

Among all of those moments I love what happened when we left the tax place and got into the car. My husband and I looked at eachother, reached for eachothers hands and together prayed and thanked God for providing and going above and beyond what we could have expected. I cried too. During this moment our 5 year old is sitting in the backseat witnessing it all. Over dinner I explained to him that God did something really great for our family. We need to thank our God because every good and perfect gift comes from him. I love moments that I can teach Iden about the character of God. That God loves and provides.

Today I am so thankful. <3