Iden: Your next Chapter

Oh, sweet love. Tomorrow is a big day for you and I don't think you really realize it. Kindergarten. And not the half day stuff that daddy and I did when we were kids... no, this is the big boy all day stuff.
You are taking a backpack and filling it with new things to learn and know. Things that I hope you'll be excited to run home and show me at the end of the day.
You are taking a lunch. I won't be there to hold your hand at lunch time and hear you thank God for your food and family. I won't be there to lecture you to focus on your food or tell you not to tilt your chair. But I would love to be a fly on the wall and watch you and hear what you and your friends have to talk about at lunch time. Star wars and super heros will probably be main topics.
You are making new friends. Flashbacks are flooding me of fears that I had of school. Then I met Jordy and we were able to take on the world in Kindergarten. So many memories came from that friendship that was made by the swings. I'm excited to hear your stories of your friendships. To see them grow. To have the sleep overs and playdates begin. I don't know how I will be able to keep up.
I am kind of saddened that when you get a scraped knee or elbow that I won't be the one that is there to clean you up and kiss away the hurt.

This is the start to great things, Iden.

You are amazing.

You are smart.

You are strong.

You are brave.

You are unique, wonderful and everything that God created you to be.

I am forever proud of you.

I love you, sweet child.

Father's Day 2012

All About My DAD

By: Iden Age: 5

My Daddy’s name is: Phillip

My Dad is 50 years old.

His hair is brown and his eyes are green.

My Dad’s favorite food is Burrito’s.

Daddy’s favorite color is red

because that’s my favorite color.

My Dad’s job is lights or scaffold’s.

He loves to eat at Chinese restaurants.

He’s smart because he knows math.

My Dad works hard at his job.

Daddy always tells me “I love you”.

I’m happy when Daddy helps me color and plays with me.

I love my Daddy because he works so hard at our house and at work.

Happy Father’s Day!

2012

Dear Gage,

Oh sweet boy. You are my little wild man. You are my adventurer. Fearless. Looking to always get off the couch in the hardest, most dangerous way possible. I love that God made you this way. You truly are one of a kind and all boy. The other day we went to a party at the park... you, little mister (not even a year and a half yet), were trying to keep up with big brother... who also was trying to keep up with the big boys. It fills my heart with so much joy to see you running through the grass trying to catch big brother... wanting the big boys to toss you the ball. Seeing you laugh and smile while you, little one, are the center of attention. Not too long later, you left the fun with the big boys. You found a spot in the sand to play by yourself. I hope that as you grow older you will always remember to find this time to rest and pray and be alone with God. I hope that despite the attention, the fun, the adventure, the spotlights... you will take a moment to rest and focus on your amazing creator who made you 'all boy'.

Today we had our first big moment of discipline. Breaks my heart thinking back and seeing your tears. Your little brother Knox was in the baby swing. You love your brother so very much. But, you also love this swing. It has become a favorite spot for you to sit with your blankie. You have pretty much claimed it yours.

While mommy and daddy were cleaning, you decided to pick up and move brother out of YOUR swing. Well, maybe you were trying to pick him up to hug him.. yeah, we'll go with that. Regardless, baby Knox ended up on the floor and you ended up in tears. Of course, Knox is fine. We gave him a little snuggle and he was back in the swing. You spent some time in timeout on the couch and were back to playing in no time. You are my little pleaser. You can't stand when we tell you 'no'. You burst into tears and the world comes to an end. Goodness I love you.

Love you to the moon and back!
Mama

Dear Knox

Dear Knox,

I've been writing alot of letters to you. The problem is that I never get to pen and paper or to the glow of the computer screen to write them down. These letters are all in my head. They are written throughout the day... when your brothers are loving on you, when you are sleeping, when you are crying, when I am snuggling you, when we lay down to nap, when I change you, when I bathe you, when I nurse you.

The letters are about so many things. Moments that I want to remember. Experiences that I hope you have. Prayers that I pray over you. But they all come down to how much I absolutely love and adore you. You aren't even 2 weeks old yet, but I am so proud to be your mama.

I love your blonde hair and what looks like eyes that will be a beautiful shade of blue. Did you know you got this from your grandpa's? I think that is amazing. I love your hands that already are full of strength. And your tiny feet. I pray that they will be the hands and feet of Jesus and that you will bless many.

I am so excited to watch you grow. To see you build a friendship with your brothers. To see you build a relationship with Jesus. To continue to hold and rock you. To sing to you. I am excited to be your mama. I love you so much sweet boy.

Love,
Your Mama

The last time

Here I am, 38 weeks pregnant and wanting so desperately to not be pregnant anymore.

I love being pregnant, I really do.

I adore almost every moment of it: The expanding belly, the kicks and pushes, the little hiccups, the cravings, the love from my hubby and sweet boys.

Regardless of all these amazing moments, I want this baby out. I want him out so badly that I have actually been trying to force labor this time around. I have tried eating a super spicy bowl of green chili stew several times, minor contractions then nothing. I've walked quite a bit, minor contractions and horrible lower back pain then nothing. I have tried pumping which I have heard from a few people works... not for me. Tried a few times, minor contractions then nothing. Lastly, Phillip and I tried what got us into this baby mess in the first place ;) and of course minor (but stronger) contractions, then nothing.

I want this baby out for selfish reasons. My body is hurting horribly, I have backpain that I have never felt before and sometimes it makes me want to cry. I am tired all the time. This isn't great when you already have 2 boys and the days are beautiful. They want to play outside and I just want to lay in bed or on the couch. I'm cranky and taking it out on my husband and little men. No fun. I want to lose this baby weight already!

This morning, I woke up frustrated. I didn't want my husband to go to work. I wanted the both of us to be heading to the hospital, ready to go thru this bittersweet experience one last time. Then it hit me... this is the last time. The last time for so many things.

The last time... that we will be a family of 4.

The last time... Gage will be the baby.

The last time... I will be pregnant.

The last time... I will experience labor and snuggling a newborn.

The last time... that I will feel these kicks and pushes.

The last time... that my body will ever have 2 heartbeats inside it at one time.

The last time... my husband will kiss my belly to show love to a sweet child.

The last time... I can set Gage on top of my belly and not on my hip.

The last time... that Iden will snuggle on my belly for a pillow while watching tv.

The last time... that I will be able to sleep thru the night for a while!

The last time... that I will try to make something happen in my timing instead of God's time.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6

I am a worrier, I overthink everything, I long to have control of any and all situations, I want things to happen the way that I hope and dream them to. All of my reasons for wanting Knox to be born now point only to me. I am selfish. I need my baby to grow, to develop his organs, to be strong. I need to be thankful for these last moments that God is giving me with Phillip, Iden and Gage. I need to pray for the changes that are to come and how this new baby will affect our family. I just need to stop complaining and be thankful.

Today, friends, I hope you are able to put your stress, worries, anxious thoughts aside and remember that God has great plans for you. Too many times I want things to happen in my planning and timing.. but when I wait on the Lord it comes out so much sweeter and so perfect. To him be the glory.


Becky

Baby #3 has a name... it is...

Phillip had a "Pamper Party" on Friday. So much fun! I love seeing my husband spend time and laugh with his friends. He has some pretty awesome friends. They blessed us with tons of diapers and wipes for our new little addition.
Towards the end of the party a few began asking questions about our little ones name... Phillip and I originally wanted to keep it quiet until his arrival. We did not want to hear other peoples views on it, hear how weird it is, how he would be made fun of... blah blah blah. But ultimately I'm not liking calling him "him", "he", or "baby". I want to say his name to our friends and family.
So they began guessing. The first clues were: 4 letters (because we have Iden and Gage we wanted to stick with that) and also that it is unique. The guesses started coming. Then I gave them another... It starts with a 'K'. So they began guessing Kody, Kale, Kyle, and some other very random names. It was fun. So we came to one more hint: the 'K' is silent. Many of them came very close! But one had the lightbulb idea to ask Iden what Baby brother's name will be and he of course blurted it out instantly. Don't trust a 5 year old with a secret! 
So here it is friends, Baby Boy #3 will be named:

Knox Michael Merritt

Becky 

Do you have time to... cuddle?

I had a reality check this morning. Seems to happen consistently in the morning. Maybe it is because I feel my best that early in the morning. I have usually read my bible, prayed with my husband, prayed by myself and I've usually had coffee and breakfast.
This morning I had only gotten in the prayer time with my husband when I had this morning time wake up call.

5:30 am. Early to some, this is normal for us. I should be sitting down to breakfast, coffee and an open bible but my husband is still rushing to grab everything and head out the door. Iden (our 5 year old), loves for daddy to say goodbye before he leaves for work... this morning he heard daddy heading for the door and came out of his room for his hug.

No big deal.

Then Phillip accidently spilled some coffee on the counter ledge and his lunch box while bending over for the morning squeeze.
He reacted and got frustrated.

Iden asked if he could stay out in the living room and sleep on the couch. We both quickly said, "no, it's too early, get back in bed." I can see the hurt as Iden heads back to his room. He wants something more than just sleeping on the couch.

Phillip is out the door, I am heading to Iden's room.

There he is, I can see his sweet face in the glow of his nightlight. He is snuggled up under his covers. Then he sees me and quietly whispers words that open my eyes...

"Mommy, do you have time to cuddle?"

What? Do I have time? Does my child really have to ask me if I have time for that? Does he need to ask for time to hug, kiss, cuddle, sit... really anything from me?

When did I get so busy with the simple things around the house (cleaning, laundry, picking up, making meals, changing diapers) that I have run out of time for my little men? To just be there to love on them when they crave it, to listen, to laugh, to teach, to learn? I am missing so many moments because I CLAIM to be so busy?

I want to be more intentional. I really want to pursue that. I want to hug more, and be frustrated less. I want to see them the way God does. OPEN MY EYES!

I immediately hopped into bed with him and scooped him close to me (difficult with the massive belly). What a moment that was. Flashes from the past almost 6 years started flowing through my mind. He falls asleep and begins to breath heavy in my arms. Soak this in. Remember this moment. Be filled with thanks and joy. This boy is now so big and tall and is constantly growing... I don't want him to grow in a direction away from me.

I want him to know that I am here.
My arms are open and so is my heart.
Mommy shouldn't always be angry and tired.
Mommy loves you so much sweet boy.

Thankful for starting the morning, before coffee and breakfast, with my sweet and compassionate son. That this morning he still wants to snuggle with his mama... one day he won't and my heart will break.

Go cuddle your sweet munchkins while you can.
Show them you love them.
Be thankful for those moments.
Don't let them slip by as routine.


Becky

25 Questions with my 5 year old...

I've been thinking lately that I've not been doing the best I could at documenting my children's lives. Mainly the things that they say and do. I'm pretty good at snapping pictures with my phone (not so much with my actual camera). But when it comes down to the funny things that show us their personality and character (or the sweet things, the frustrating moments) I have not been documenting ANY of it. And there are definitely moments that I wish I could go back and remember.
I decided to find some questions to ask Iden so that I could remember some of who he is and what he likes right now. I'm going to try to remember to do this for the boys at birthdays or beginning of the year.

Here are 25 Questions that I asked Iden (age 5) and his answers verbatim.

1. What makes you happy?
     That I have a brother, and this next brother too.

2. What makes you sad?
     When I have to clean my room.

3. What makes you laugh?
     Things that are silly.

4. What is your favorite thing to do?
     You know that already... Ratchet and Clank! And playing games.

5. What are you really good at?
     Being good.

6. What are you not very good at?
     Cleaning up my room.

7. What is your favorite food?
     Ummm... turkey and ham... just kidding! Tacos and pizza!

8. What's your favorite color?
     Red is pretty cool.

9. What's your favorite place to go?
     To the park.

10. Who are your best friends?
      Kalie... just Kalie.

11. What is your favorite movie? TV show?
        Puss in Boots and Wild Kratts

12. What are your favorite books?
       My bedtime book and Skippyjonjones

13. If you were a cartoon character, who would you be?
       Black Panther because I like him and he has those things that shoot out of his hands.

14. What does Mommy do when you're not around?
       Make cookies and cake.

15. What do you do when Mommy isn't around?
       Sometimes I am in trouble and sometimes I'm not.

16. What's something Mommy always tells you?
       To stop throwing the balls at Gage.

17. What is something you and Mommy do together?
       We play Legos.

18. What is something about you and Mommy that is the same?
       Our hair.

19. What is something about  you and Mommy that is different?
       That your hair is long lie this and mine is short like this.

20. How do you know that Mommy loves you?
      Because you tell me that God loves me forever.

21. Who are your favorite people?
      All the kids... just all of them.

22. What is your favorite toy?
       My leappad and also that Transformer.

23. What do you want to do when you grow up?
      Save the World.

24. What is your favorite thing about Jesus?
      That he loves me.

25. What is your favorite thing about Mommy and Daddy?
      That you love me.

I searched Pinterest for the questions which most of them came from this blog: Hey, ho, KellyGO

My oldest son, Iden, goes to an awesome pre-school. He began going here because he had/has a speech delay. I love the teachers so much. I love the things that he learns. I love the small classroom size. I love the 3-4 hours I get at home of not needing to tell Iden where the bad guys are and that he needs to fight them. A very cool thing about his school is that they have special event nights every month or so. We hadn't gone to many the past few years but I'm glad we went last night! We had a blast!

Iden's teachers won a grant that gave each child in their Phonological program a FREE pair of TOMS! I was really excited about that. The kids even got to pick out what color they wanted. Iden chose Red. So, last night they had a 'ONE FOR ONE' night. They provided dinner: Pizza from Little Ceasars and salad, showed the TOMS documentary, the kids sang some songs, they read stories and did some fun crafts! It was a great way to end our week!

Iden decorated his TOMS with googly eyes, buttons, glue, fabric markers.

Super cool idea... but I'm glad he did this to shoes we didn't pay for LOL

We made a guitar out of rubber bands and a shoe box.

Gage LOVED it!!

Seriously, go do this to entertain your baby!

Oh, by the way I got a haircut. Hi bangs!

Another shot of Iden decorating his shoes :]

Making a sock puppet.

He got upset with us when we tried telling him how to do it.

So it's not your traditional sock puppet.

So proud of his creation!

I love that we are able to soak up memories like this. I want to be more craftsy with the boys at home. Finger painting, creating things... I want them to remember these things about their childhood. I need to make more time for them. I was convicted the other day with the thought that too often during the day when Iden asks to do something with me... play candyland, build legos, watch a movie, play super heros... my response is, "Not now honey, Mama needs to clean the house/Mama is too tired/ you need to clean your mess." Who have I become?! This is not the mama that I wanted to be. Then I think about how I would feel with that response from anyone... from my husband, my kids, a friend, from my God.

I need to make time for these precious moments.

The dishes can wait.

The laundry can be folded and put away later.

The mess on the table can wait.

Their mess can wait.

Facebook can wait.

Email can wait.

Blogging can wait.

Pinterest can wait.

My favorite show can wait.

But my children can't. They need the love. The attention. The joy. The laughter. They need these moments as much as I do.

Excuse me while I go play superheroes.

Right Now...

There are toys covering the living room.
A high chair that needs to be cleaned.
Dishes that need to be taken out of the dishwasher.
Dishes that need to be put in the dishwasher.
Little shoes that need to be put away.

There are hiccups going on inside me.
Two sweet boys sleeping.
An old pup curled by my feet.
Books and blogs to read on my kindle.

Today I laughed with Iden over his silly joke that he remembered:
"Mom, why do chickens sit on their eggs?"
"I don't know Iden, why?"
"Because they don't have chairs!!"
I can still picture him laughing. His eyes get squinty and he tilts his head back.
Gage was sitting in the highchair trying to imitate Iden by making a silly face.
I am so in love with my children.

Today I didn't just carry Gage as we took Iden to class.
I let him walk. He grasped a few of my fingers in his tiny hand.
He held on to me so tight.
And he looked around. Curious as can be.
He watched for big brother.
He watched the little girl putting her stuffed puppy down the slide.
He watched the little boys chasing each other.
He was cautious.
He looked up at me and I smiled down at him.
He smiled back then took off toward the playset.
Iden was there with open arms to guide him and protect him.
I am so in love with my children.


At the end of today I was and am feeling like a failure. I yelled at Iden. My house is not as clean as I want it to be. Dinner did not come out the way I wanted it to. I'm up later than I want to be.

Before I laid Iden down to sleep I said, "Iden, I love you. Even tho I get mad and yell, I love you. There isn't anything that you could ever do that will ever make me stop loving you. Sometimes we have bad days, but we start over in the morning. I love you."
I could tell by looking in his eyes that he heard me. That he believes me. "I love you too mom". Music to my heart. God is so much greater than our bad days, our crummy days, our emotional/hormonal days. God, help me to put this day behind me and start fresh in the morning. Help me to be a better mommy and wife daily.

Starting Fresh...

Hello There! I have been gone from the blogging world for quite a while and finally decided that I would jump back in. There have been quite a bit of changes going on in the Merritt household and I feel like I'm finally able to catch my balance and breath with everything that has gone on. I'm excited to start blogging and updating everyone on our current and future adventures!

Let's start with my boys:
Iden - my handsome boy just turned 5! I can't even believe it. I told him that I would cry when he turns 5 so he then went and told everyone that I would be crying at his party. Come enjoy the party and cupcakes and my emotional mom crying! But yes, I did tear up while we sang Happy Birthday (very much like I did at his first birthday). He is amazing. He is showing that he will be a kind, compassionate boy. He's smart, witty, and funny. Full of energy and always wanting to please everyone. He loves his little brother with all of his heart and it shows in how he sings to him and plays with him. Please stop growing my sweet love!
Gage - our sweet little guy will already be one next month. Again, I can't believe it. He brings me and Phillip so much joy and is a wonderful child! We are truly blessed! Right now he has his two bottom front teeth with two top front teeth slowly coming in. Even through teething he is a champ and an overall happy child. He crawls like he is on a mission and is fast! He is taking more and more steps daily! I think that he tries to show off more when daddy is home. He is over eating baby food and just wants finger foods and to try what we are eating. He is curious and adventurous. He adores his big brother... follows him, watches him, laughs at him, looks for him, smiles for him. It is beyond anything I imagined to see brothers growing up together. Beautiful.

Baby bump?
God has blessed us with another munchkin on the way! We were not planning on more children for AT LEAST 5 years! But, God has other plans. I was surprised when I went to the doctor for other reasons to hear the words, "You're pregnant". Phillip is still getting over the shock! This baby has been completely different from the other two. I have been and continue to be horribly sick with morning sickness. I am absolutely exhausted. Haven't gained any weight thus far. My belly does seem different then it was with the boys. I am leaning more towards girl but trying not to get hopeful. In all honesty we would be happy with either a boy or a girl! If we have another boy then there may be adoption or one more try down the road. If it is a girl then we may just call it quits after her birth. We'll see, we find out December 12th so stay tuned! This sweet baby will be due May 2, 2012. I'm looking forward to having a baby during the spring time instead of fall/winter.

What else?
Phillip got a great new job! Praise God! He is in an electrician apprenticeship program (I'm so proud!). So far he is really enjoying it and learning so much. The hard part is that he has a crazy schedule which has been difficult for his body to adjust to. I honestly have no idea how he does it. I need sleep at the same time every night for at least 9 hours... and then maybe a nap! He is also gone quite a bit which took some getting used to, especially while I was battling morning sickness and chasing down two kids. I think we have finally gotten there. I am ready to get back into a better family routine for myself, my kids, my home and my sanity. I am going to start pushing myself to wake up earlier, tackle some routine with cleaning the house, meal planning, studying God's word, as well as being more intentional about my time with my children. I'm really looking forward to this and was so excited that I decided to begin blogging again. Instead of going to bed at a decent time I decided to sit here and type! Goodness.

Tomorrow is a new day and looking forward to starting it off right! :]

Sleep

Last night Gage slept from 10:30pm - 7:00am. IT WAS AMAZING! I think he sensed that mama needed sleep just cause she's mama and daddy needed sleep after his first week of work. He's doing pretty great at sleeping at night, usually gives us at least 5 hours of straight sleep. Also, today we managed to get both boys down for nap AT THE SAME TIME! It was pretty awesome as well, I didn't know what to do with myself! So I napped too! :]

Having a second child is alot harder than what I expected.  I just thought things would be different... not neccesarily better or worse... just different. But it has definitely been hard. I've wanted to write my son's letters and take more pictures and write his birth story... but things have gotten in the way.
Breastfeeding, baths, story time, legos, cuddling, napping, coffee breaks, water breaks, cookie baking, coloring and having my arms occupied by a beautiful baby have gotten in the way... and I couldn't be happier.
Iden has been amazing. He is so proud to be a big brother. He is understanding and loving and simply proud. He wants to show everyone his baby brother and tell them all about him. It's so precious and beautiful. He loves to hold Gage. In the morning waking up Iden used to be difficult, he's much like his mama and loves sleep. Now I walk in there and ask if he wants to cuddle with his brother... His eyes open immediately and he scoots over to make room and gently holds his brother in his arms. He sings a song to him that he made up about how much he loves him. He gives him "kissing hands". He tells him that he will always protect him. I knew that he would be a great big brother but he has gone far beyond what I expected.
Phillip is so handsome when he holds our son. I never experienced those late night diaper changes and feedings with Iden's dad... it was just me. They were different moments. It was bonding between me and Iden. This time I see bonding between Gage and his father. Priceless. Gage smiles so big when Phillip changes his diaper. For the past 8 weeks Phillip has had so much strength and understanding helping me with the boys and helping me get thru post partum issues. He is so deeply in love with our boys. I couldn't ask for a better husband or father for my children. I fall in love with him more and more every day.
As for Gage, he is already 8 weeks old and I packed away all newborn size clothing. He doesn't look like a newborn anymore. He has already grown so much. He is strong just as I knew he would be. He has a strong grip and he has been holding his head up since he was about a week old. He is alert and has beautiful bright eyes. He loves this little family and we adore him. Last night Gage slept from 10:30pm - 5:30am... it was amazing! I love him so much.

Less than 4 weeks to go!

Here I am 36 wks and 3 days pregnant.

I have days where I feel ready to have this baby...

and days where I am totally content with waiting it out until December 30th.

I am ready because: we have been praying for this child for quite some time. I cannot wait to see how much my son looks like my husband. I can't wait to see my husband hold our child, or to see my son kiss his brother on the cheek. I can't wait to hold Gage and tell him how loved he is. I want to swaddle him and cuddle and hear him cry in the middle of the night and tell him I'm here, everything is going to be ok. We have everything we need to welcome him home: the clothes and blankets are all washed, the bassinet is next to my bed and ready for him, the car seat is strapped in our car... the diaper bag and hospital bag will be packed soon (I promise!).

I am totally okay with waiting because: I haven't baked any christmas cookies yet (that is seriously my top concern), I don't feel mentally prepared for labor, insurance still hasn't fully kicked in (thanks state of NM for sucking at everything!), my husband is searching for a job. I haven't packed our hospital bag or the diaper bag, I think it mainly comes down to I haven't baked christmas cookies yet lol.

I'm nervous for what the future holds... 2 boys (bring on the ruckus!), routines/schedules, breastfeeding: hoping I can produce it for a longer period of time, when in the world will I nap?

I'm so blessed to have this beautiful little family.

We all can't wait to meet Gage. Sweetheart, come when you are ready.

Ordinary Moments

I love taking in this day to day life. Things are not necessarily perfect and no we are not living the American Dream but we are on the road to happiness. Obstacles seem to be thrown at us from every direction, but guaranteed they can't and won't bring us down. We're stronger than that.

Today was great. Nothing amazing about it at all, but it was great. A day spent with my son and my husband and feeling content and happy. Iden said it was the best day ever. The best part of it was going to the park and seeing Phillip and Iden run and play and laugh. I can close my eyes and see it all in slow motion. I sat in the sun and just smiled and was able to take it all in. My son loves this man so much and vice versa. It's so beautiful to see them bond.

I love moments like this. Moments where I am here. I am not at work feeling rushed and stressed and overwhelmed. I am not on the other end of the phone hearing about the laughter and great times. I am here. I am no longer missing out on the moments, I am living in them.

To all the mom's and dad's out there... be here. Be a part of those ordinary day-to-day moments. Life is so beautiful.

Letter for my boys

Dear Iden,

I want you to know how proud I am of you. There has been so much change and transition going on around you and you have done so well dealing with it all. You work so hard to please your mommy and daddy and to meet our expectations. I know somedays that it is hard on you, but know that you are loved and we are so proud to call you ours.

This week we have seen you around several babies and I am looking forward to seeing you become an amazing big brother. You have such a kind and gentle heart, you will be such a great leader for your baby brother. I love how excited you are for the baby to get here, I love seeing/hearing you talk to the baby and tell him what you are doing, and I especially love feeling your tiny hands on my belly so you can see if the baby is "bumping". I love you so much and always will.

Love,

Your Mama

Dear Gage,

As I'm writing this letter, you are pushing and kicking like crazy. You are growing so strong and it feels me up with so much joy. Your daddy and I have been praying for you far before your heart started beating, we are very excited to hold you and meet you. The last week it has been really setting in for me that you will be here soon... I want you to know that we are praying for you every day. We pray that you will be born a healthy and strong baby boy. We pray that we will be great parents for you and that God will lead us so that we can lead you. We pray that you will grow to be a man of character and integrity. We love you so much already, son. God has great plans for you. I love you so much and always will.

Love,

Your Mama

Transitions

Lately the best thing I get to hear my almost 4 year old little boy say is: Daddy. In any sentence it makes my heart melt...

"Daddy I love you."

"Daddy, will you play with me?"

"Look, Daddy."

Yes, most children start calling their fathers daddy much sooner, mine just started and I'm loving it.

Phillip and I met when Iden was only 8 months old. Iden has a father and he was sort of a part of his life at the time and I never wanted him to be confused about who was 'dad'. Phillip at the time was always referred to as "Phill". No other name was ever brought up and we never forced or taught him to call Phillip anything else.

Shortly after Iden turned 2, Phillip and I got married. A few days after we got married, Iden started calling Phillip "Papa". It was as if he knew that we were a family at this point. We didn't tell him to call Phillip this new name... we had never even said anything like that around him. It stuck and it was wonderful. Hearing my son calling my husband 'Papa' would bring a big smile on my face. We thought that he would always be 'Papa'... but Iden decided to change that.

Now that we have been married for almost 2 years and have a baby on the way, Iden has decided to give Phillip a new name... Daddy. Sometimes it's just Dad but majority of the time it's Daddy. I LOVE IT! He made this transition on his own... we didn't force him or teach him to say this. I don't know if he's heard his friends at school say "Daddy" but regardless we love it. It was all on his timing.