Yesterday was a hard day. I feel like I was in a bit of a funk because I knew what was going to happen. We had set the appointment to send our old mutt to "Doggy Heaven". A few months ago we started to really see old age and sickness set in. I took him to the vet after a few doggy accidents, days of not eating and another eye infection. They did some blood work at that time and said that he was in the middle stages of kidney failure. We were told it could progress quickly and he could be with us anywhere from a few days, to a few weeks to a few months. Part of me tried to prepare myself for that... but I kind of jokingly said to myself that he'll stay around for a few more years just to spite my husband.
At that time my son Iden asked some questions about what the "doggy doctor" was doing to Fred, if he was ok, etc. In alot of areas I want to be honest with my son, teach him lessons and not sugar coat the truth (In alot of areas, not all areas. We do try to protect him from alot!). So I did explain that the body parts inside Fred weren't working the way they are supposed to. He might be with us for a little while and all we can do is love on Fred and pray for him. He took that pretty well and became Fred's personal prayer warrior. We prayed for that dog at every meal and at bedtime.
The weeks went by and Fred had his good days and his bad ones. It was turning into more bad days then good. He would often go some days without eating. He was slimming down quick. Then it turned into accidents. Everywhere. Chasing two kids and cleaning up doggy accidents while pregnant is frustrating! Then he had accidents in his bed while sleeping. I knew then that I needed to call and make an appointment but I kept thinking about his good days and hoping that he'd do better. Then I noticed that he was having a hard time getting comfortable when he was trying to lay down, having a hard time getting up, having a hard time moving around in general. Fred also started having tremors in his legs. Lastly, he had accidents while he was eating his food. I knew that it was time.
I didn't tell Iden that Fred needed to go to some farm where he could run and play and get healthy. I told him that we were taking Fred to the vet and that she was going to give Fred something that would make him fall asleep and then wake up in "Doggy Heaven".
I said, "Iden, who do you think is the first person that we will see when we get to heaven?"
Iden: "We will see Jesus!"
Me: "Yes, so who will Fred see first?"
Iden: "He's going to see Jesus first."
Me: "Yes, and now Fred will belong to God and Jesus. They will give him a new doggy body and he won't hurt anymore. He won't have yuckies in his eyes anymore either."
Iden: "I think he'll get doggy wings because he's been a good dog. He's gonna be with us all the time now mom, watching over us."
I like to think that I'll see my dog in heaven one day. I had him for almost 16 years. I remember the fuzzball that he was as a little puppy. In a way he was alot like that dog in the movie "Marley & Me". He would try to run out of the house any chance he could. He would howl and bark. He did not get along with other dogs... he was a smaller dog but thought that he could take on a lab. He would go running with me in high school but it was more like flying a kite because he would be everywhere. He was there for me thru the breakups of bad boyfriends and hard times. He was mad when I brought home my first baby. He did not like Iden at first and did not like the tight hugs Iden would give him... he quickly had to get over that. He moved with us 3 times. He made our neighbors hate us because of his whining and howling. He ended his days getting pet and loved on by both Iden and Gage.