I have a journal.
There is nothing written in it.
I've had it for a few weeks.
The purpose of this journal was for me to intentionally seek out things to be thankful for in our everyday crazy home. I got it on clearance at Target but it has some of my favorite colors and is an adorable pattern. Makes me happy :]
So why is it empty?
Because I'm looking for the right moment. I'm waiting for the right day.
Have you ever done this? I've done it alot.
I'll start working out on the first of the month.
I'll start reading my bible on Sunday.
I'll start eating right at the new year.
I'll have a better attitude in the morning.
I'll drink more water tomorrow.
I'll stop eating so many Girl Scout Cookies after this box.
We want the fresh start at the beginning. At least I do. So at first I decided to wait until a Sunday because that was the start of the week. Then, I wanted to follow the Joy Dare exactly... but I couldn't find things on that day that matched right... so I waited until the next day. Then, I wanted for my first note of thankfulness to be something written beautifully and something amazing. It wasn't happening that day. Excuses. Set backs. Expectations. I am missing everything around me.
It hit me this morning as I was laying clothes out on my bed to hang up... I'm passing by so many moments of gratitude because I'm wanting some poetic, beautiful moment to begin. Why?
I don't need to start fresh at the beginning of the day/week/month/year.
I don't need to begin with the most beautiful moment to give thanks.
Begin where you are. Life is messy. I am a mess. God called me as I am.
I don't want my expectations to lose sight of the things that I am thankful for. The things that I could be passing by seeing them as mess, as routine, as small. So this morning I looked around and found so many little things that made me smile, filled me with joy, made me laugh... that I am so thankful to God for opening my eyes to.
~ The mess of DVD's that Gage proudly pulled out of the basket.
~ Iden's super hero's on the floor, I can hear his imagination and play.
~ Dishes in the sink, thankful for the food that God provided to make them that way.
~ Little socks laying on the floor in my room.
~ The chairs that my children sit in at the table to hold hands and pray over meals.
~ Sweet baby, stretching out my skin and leaving marks for me to remember these months.
~ Kisses from my husband.
~ The sun shining through the windows.
God, open my eyes to see. To see the small and the great moments. The beautiful and the messy. Help me to soak it all in, to be filled with gratitude.
The day is starting. My journal is no longer empty and I am ready to seek God's blessings.