I had a reality check this morning. Seems to happen consistently in the morning. Maybe it is because I feel my best that early in the morning. I have usually read my bible, prayed with my husband, prayed by myself and I've usually had coffee and breakfast.
This morning I had only gotten in the prayer time with my husband when I had this morning time wake up call.
5:30 am. Early to some, this is normal for us. I should be sitting down to breakfast, coffee and an open bible but my husband is still rushing to grab everything and head out the door. Iden (our 5 year old), loves for daddy to say goodbye before he leaves for work... this morning he heard daddy heading for the door and came out of his room for his hug.
No big deal.
Then Phillip accidently spilled some coffee on the counter ledge and his lunch box while bending over for the morning squeeze.
He reacted and got frustrated.
Iden asked if he could stay out in the living room and sleep on the couch. We both quickly said, "no, it's too early, get back in bed." I can see the hurt as Iden heads back to his room. He wants something more than just sleeping on the couch.
Phillip is out the door, I am heading to Iden's room.
There he is, I can see his sweet face in the glow of his nightlight. He is snuggled up under his covers. Then he sees me and quietly whispers words that open my eyes...
"Mommy, do you have time to cuddle?"
What? Do I have time? Does my child really have to ask me if I have time for that? Does he need to ask for time to hug, kiss, cuddle, sit... really anything from me?
When did I get so busy with the simple things around the house (cleaning, laundry, picking up, making meals, changing diapers) that I have run out of time for my little men? To just be there to love on them when they crave it, to listen, to laugh, to teach, to learn? I am missing so many moments because I CLAIM to be so busy?
I want to be more intentional. I really want to pursue that. I want to hug more, and be frustrated less. I want to see them the way God does. OPEN MY EYES!
I immediately hopped into bed with him and scooped him close to me (difficult with the massive belly). What a moment that was. Flashes from the past almost 6 years started flowing through my mind. He falls asleep and begins to breath heavy in my arms. Soak this in. Remember this moment. Be filled with thanks and joy. This boy is now so big and tall and is constantly growing... I don't want him to grow in a direction away from me.
I want him to know that I am here.
My arms are open and so is my heart.
Mommy shouldn't always be angry and tired.
Mommy loves you so much sweet boy.
Thankful for starting the morning, before coffee and breakfast, with my sweet and compassionate son. That this morning he still wants to snuggle with his mama... one day he won't and my heart will break.
Go cuddle your sweet munchkins while you can.
Show them you love them.
Be thankful for those moments.
Don't let them slip by as routine.
Becky
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Its funny, just last night I prayed that God would give me those moments with my children so that I could tell them just how much I love them. I too, want to be intentional in my living. I am a homeschool mother of 3. I wanted to do this so that I could have a closer relationship with them as well as build a stronger foundation for them before handing them over to " the world." My children are now 16, 14, and 10. I was struggling with the thought that I may have made the wrong choice or maybe just not fulfilled the role good enough when I was annalyzing my children and their attitutdes the other day.....God then went on to show me things in their life that make me realize I am on the right path. Because of my prayer last night and my choice to be intentional, as I scanned facebook before getting started with my kids schoolwork for the day I saw a friend recommending your blog and I had to check it out. I am so glad I did because as I read your post today it brought tears to my eyes as I remembered my own children at that age. I can't get those years back. I've been so busy trying to do everything that I let "lots" of those little moments pass me by. My children all have routines of hugging us goodnight before they go to bed and my daughter, my youngest, asked me the other night why I don't give her real hugs like I used to when she was little instead of the pat on the back she got now....how is that for a slap in the face? I don't have many years left with my children at home but with the choice to live intentionally I will pay closer attention to the moments God orchestrates in my life to have that special time with my children.
ReplyDeleteI love this becky!
ReplyDeleteYou are such an amazing mom and make other moms want to be better every day!!! You are great role model!