Less than 4 weeks to go!

Here I am 36 wks and 3 days pregnant.

I have days where I feel ready to have this baby...

and days where I am totally content with waiting it out until December 30th.

I am ready because: we have been praying for this child for quite some time. I cannot wait to see how much my son looks like my husband. I can't wait to see my husband hold our child, or to see my son kiss his brother on the cheek. I can't wait to hold Gage and tell him how loved he is. I want to swaddle him and cuddle and hear him cry in the middle of the night and tell him I'm here, everything is going to be ok. We have everything we need to welcome him home: the clothes and blankets are all washed, the bassinet is next to my bed and ready for him, the car seat is strapped in our car... the diaper bag and hospital bag will be packed soon (I promise!).

I am totally okay with waiting because: I haven't baked any christmas cookies yet (that is seriously my top concern), I don't feel mentally prepared for labor, insurance still hasn't fully kicked in (thanks state of NM for sucking at everything!), my husband is searching for a job. I haven't packed our hospital bag or the diaper bag, I think it mainly comes down to I haven't baked christmas cookies yet lol.

I'm nervous for what the future holds... 2 boys (bring on the ruckus!), routines/schedules, breastfeeding: hoping I can produce it for a longer period of time, when in the world will I nap?

I'm so blessed to have this beautiful little family.

We all can't wait to meet Gage. Sweetheart, come when you are ready.

Ordinary Moments

I love taking in this day to day life. Things are not necessarily perfect and no we are not living the American Dream but we are on the road to happiness. Obstacles seem to be thrown at us from every direction, but guaranteed they can't and won't bring us down. We're stronger than that.

Today was great. Nothing amazing about it at all, but it was great. A day spent with my son and my husband and feeling content and happy. Iden said it was the best day ever. The best part of it was going to the park and seeing Phillip and Iden run and play and laugh. I can close my eyes and see it all in slow motion. I sat in the sun and just smiled and was able to take it all in. My son loves this man so much and vice versa. It's so beautiful to see them bond.

I love moments like this. Moments where I am here. I am not at work feeling rushed and stressed and overwhelmed. I am not on the other end of the phone hearing about the laughter and great times. I am here. I am no longer missing out on the moments, I am living in them.

To all the mom's and dad's out there... be here. Be a part of those ordinary day-to-day moments. Life is so beautiful.

I am the Face

Wow, I didn't know that such a day existed.

I am still having a difficult time dealing with the loss of mine and my husbands first child together. It's coming up on a year that we had to live through this experience. November 30, 2009.

I still cry about it. I look at some babies and think that is how big he or she should be. Our child should be learning to roll and be smiling and happy and with us and in our arms. But God had a different plan.

It's hard to trust that everything happens for a reason and that some things are a part of God's plan especially when you want that one thing so desperately. After we miscarried, our world was completely rocked. Neither of us knew how to deal with this loss, we didn't know how to comfort eachother or talk about it. We both dealt with it in different ways, we shut down, we tried to forget, we over-worked ourselves to keep our minds off of it. It nearly ruined our family.

Praise God that we have been able to make it through these trials. We have grown closer to eachother and closer to Christ. We are blessed with a healthy growing baby boy that is due December 30, 2010. But that first baby will never be forgotten. I don't know where my emotions will be on November 30 as I remember what happened that day... but I will remember our precious child.

Candy-Corn Wreath

My mom (hi mom!) has a subscription to Woman's Day mag. When I saw the cover for October I was drawn to it. It has so much orange and that is my favorite color. Also, there is alot of candy-corn on that cover. With all things Halloween coming up and everyone is baking and decorating awesomeness I thought to myself, "I want to be that mom". I want to have traditions and build memories that my kids will look back and remember or look forward to. So, now that I have recently become a full-time stay-at-home-mama (I get so giddy just typing that out!) I have decided now is the time for me to get crafty and do awesome mommy things that I wouldn't be able to do if I was working full-time.

So here it is! The Candy-Corn Halloween Wreath!

What you'll need:

• A Styrofoam Wreath (any size will do, you pick!)
• Wide Black Ribbon
• Candy corn
• A Hot Glue Gun (I think I used 3-4 glue sticks)
• A finishing spray

Here's what you'll do:

Hot glue the end of the ribbon to your styrofoam and begin wrapping it around tightly. I would add hot glue here and there to make sure the ribbon stayed in place. Once you have wrapped the styrofoam completely in ribbon then hot glue the end.

Honestly, I didn't line up any of the candy-corn before I started gluing them down... I just went at it! You'll want to do a row at a time, first row pointing left. Once you have glued them all down you are ready for your next row! The next row needs to point in the opposite direction. I did not put candy corn on the backside of the wreath. I figured it'd be against my door anyways. But if you feel the need to put them all the way around, more power to ya!

Now that you have all of the candy corn glued on and it has had time to sit, spray it with a clear finishing spray. It gives it a pretty shine and I'm hoping will protect it a bit! Let dry!

Get your wide ribbon again and wrap through the wreath. You can leave it as a knot and let the ends hang, or you can tie it in a bow! Your call! Make it cute ;)

(Note: please excuse the horrible pictures. They were taken on my phone and my camera's pictures aren't any better! One day I will have a nice camera!)

The project took me a few hours to complete (there were a few distractions including a dropped candy with hot glue on it which landed on my leg and gave me a lovely little burn!). It was a quick, fun, easy project! And now I have tons of candy corn left over to enjoy!

What fun stuff are you making for your home for Halloween? Send me a link!

Friday Favorite Five

I'm just loving being pregnant. I loved being pregnant with my first son and I am loving it now. So, I thought I'd jot down my five favorite things about being pregnant (in no particular order).

1. Growing Belly - This time around I have taken (or tried to) weekly pictures of my belly as it grows. It is so amazing how time flies and sometimes the amount of growth you can see in a short period of time. I love the way the belly looks and feels. It's just great.
2. The kicks - The pushes and kicks never get old for me. Never irritate me, even tho he kicks right before I go to sleep, a few times in the middle of the night, and at 7:00 am every morning. It is a reminder that he is growing and happy :]
3. My hair - I love what pregnancy does to my hair while I'm pregnant. It feels strong, it grows like crazy, it looks healthy. After pregnancy is a whole other story.
4. Nesting - I love cleaning and organizing... especially for my kids! So with baby on the way and nesting in full gear, I'm pumped!
5. My husband - my first pregnancy I basically went thru by myself and it was an extremely emotional time for me. I love feeling loved and being told that I am beautiful and my belly is beautiful. I love hearing my husband talk to the baby and kiss my belly. I didn't experiance anything like that before so this has been wonderful. I love my husband and I am so thankful that he puts up with me and my crazy hormones.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

Letter for my boys

Dear Iden,

I want you to know how proud I am of you. There has been so much change and transition going on around you and you have done so well dealing with it all. You work so hard to please your mommy and daddy and to meet our expectations. I know somedays that it is hard on you, but know that you are loved and we are so proud to call you ours.

This week we have seen you around several babies and I am looking forward to seeing you become an amazing big brother. You have such a kind and gentle heart, you will be such a great leader for your baby brother. I love how excited you are for the baby to get here, I love seeing/hearing you talk to the baby and tell him what you are doing, and I especially love feeling your tiny hands on my belly so you can see if the baby is "bumping". I love you so much and always will.

Love,

Your Mama

Dear Gage,

As I'm writing this letter, you are pushing and kicking like crazy. You are growing so strong and it feels me up with so much joy. Your daddy and I have been praying for you far before your heart started beating, we are very excited to hold you and meet you. The last week it has been really setting in for me that you will be here soon... I want you to know that we are praying for you every day. We pray that you will be born a healthy and strong baby boy. We pray that we will be great parents for you and that God will lead us so that we can lead you. We pray that you will grow to be a man of character and integrity. We love you so much already, son. God has great plans for you. I love you so much and always will.

Love,

Your Mama

Transitions

Lately the best thing I get to hear my almost 4 year old little boy say is: Daddy. In any sentence it makes my heart melt...

"Daddy I love you."

"Daddy, will you play with me?"

"Look, Daddy."

Yes, most children start calling their fathers daddy much sooner, mine just started and I'm loving it.

Phillip and I met when Iden was only 8 months old. Iden has a father and he was sort of a part of his life at the time and I never wanted him to be confused about who was 'dad'. Phillip at the time was always referred to as "Phill". No other name was ever brought up and we never forced or taught him to call Phillip anything else.

Shortly after Iden turned 2, Phillip and I got married. A few days after we got married, Iden started calling Phillip "Papa". It was as if he knew that we were a family at this point. We didn't tell him to call Phillip this new name... we had never even said anything like that around him. It stuck and it was wonderful. Hearing my son calling my husband 'Papa' would bring a big smile on my face. We thought that he would always be 'Papa'... but Iden decided to change that.

Now that we have been married for almost 2 years and have a baby on the way, Iden has decided to give Phillip a new name... Daddy. Sometimes it's just Dad but majority of the time it's Daddy. I LOVE IT! He made this transition on his own... we didn't force him or teach him to say this. I don't know if he's heard his friends at school say "Daddy" but regardless we love it. It was all on his timing.

Heartbroken

Today is a very sad day. I childhood friend of mine was taken from this earth much too soon. The details of his death are shocking and I can't grasp my brain around the fact that this really happened. It seems like something that you'd hear about on the news or on an episode of CSI... not something to happen in real life to a great young man that has his whole life ahead of him.
I have known Michael since Kindergarten. We were babysat in the same home daycare before and after school. We would joke about it every now and then. We had several years in elementary school that we had the same teachers. Middle school we were in different schools. High School we reconnected.... not until the end when we were hanging out with all the same friends. He had such a great attitude and humor. He could always lift your spirits. My fondest memory of Michael is when I was pregnant with my first son four years ago... We were at a wedding and he would not leave my side because he wanted to keep rubbing my belly! It was sweet and hilarious.
The odd thing is that Friday morning I randomly thought about him (because someone was rubbing my belly) and immediately started wondering how he was doing... I feel like I should have reconnected with him on Facebook or asked a friend how he was, tell him I say hello... but I shrugged it off.

I know that he is in a better place. He touched many peoples lives and has left lasting impressions on many. Please keep him, his family & his friends in your prayers.

Chocolate + Bananas + Bread = So Tasty!

It seems life is ever changing. This was my first week going from being a busy full-time working mom to working part time. I'm a few months away from being a full-time SAHM and I am so excited! With more time at home I get to do the things I love and spend time with my favorite people: my husband and my son. I have been baking like crazy this week and it feel great!

This recipe is so easy, comes out looking amazing and its delicious!

Two-Tone Banana Bread

(I got this recipe from Better Homes & Gardens: Holiday Baking magazine 2008)

Prep: 25 minutes

Bake:55 minutes

Cool: 10 minutes

Makes 16 servings

Ingredients:

2 cups all-purpose flour (I use unbleached)

1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon finely shredded lemon peel

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg

1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon

2 eggs, lightly beaten

1 1/2 cups mashed ripe bananas (4-5 medium)

1 cup sugar

1/2 cup butter, melted (I use unsalted)

1 tablespoon dark rum or milk

2 ounces semisweet chocolate, melted and cooled

1. Preheat oven to 350 (F). Grease the bottom and 1/2 inch up the sides of a 9x5x3 inch loaf pan; set aside. In a large bowl combine flour, baking powder, lemon peel, baking soda, salt, nutmeg, and cinnamon. Make a well in center of flour mixture; set aside.

2. In a medium bowl, combine eggs, mashed bananas, sugar, melted butter, and rum. Add the egg mixture to the flour mixture. Stir just until moistened (batter should be lumpy). Transfer one-third of the batter (about 1 1/4 cups) to a medium bowl; fold in melted chocolate.

3. Drop alternanting spoonfuls of plain and chocolate batters into the prepared pan. Using a table knife or narrow metal spatula, gently swirl through batters to marble.

4. Bake for 55 to 60 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. If necessary, cover loosely with foil during the last 15 minutes to prevent overbrowning.

5. Cool in pan on a wire rack for 10 minutes. Remove bread from pan. Cool completely on a wire rack. Wrap and store overnight before slicing.

This bread makes your house smell wonderful! And the swirl effect that comes out when you slice it...

is awesome!

Happy Baking!

Becky

Cravings

During this pregnancy I really haven't had much cravings at all... I didn't have them much with my first son either. It's a good thing or else I'd probably be at the Dairy Queen across the street from my work EVERY DAY!!

The 'problem' that I do have however is that when I HEAR someone talking about anything that even slightly gets me licking my lips... well, I can't stop thinking about it.

Last night and this morning it hit me HARD and I couldn't shake it...

Pumpkin Spice Latte

For the past few days it seems that everywhere I go, or whatever I am reading someone is speaking about the delicious goodness of the Pumpkin Spice Latte. I needed one. desperately.

My husband and I went and got one today. It was marvelous. Definitely lifted my spirits from a hard week!

Thank you Starbucks!

Getting Settled

Phillip and I have official been out of our home for a week now. It really is a strange feeling and we're both slightly depressed about it. Despite the current circumstance we are thankful for how things have turned out. We are now able to save money and destroy our debt (yay!) and we are not needing to sell our home. Thank you God!

A few months ago Phillip was laid off from his job. This was unsettling to us because he was a good, hard worker. He had been there for a few years and was liked by the people he worked for. Well, 'due to lack of money and lack of work' they let a majority of their good workers go. They decided to hang onto some workers that they believed were good workers (but ultimately they aren't). Phillip did not receive any type of severence package which was really hard on us. Right away we had to ask ourselves what do we do now?

With a baby on the way and a wife that is yearning to be a stay-at-home-mon (SAHM), we weren't left with too many options. We prayed about wisdom and direction often and everything was pointing us in a very specific direction.

Phillip currently does not have a degree and has been wanting to go back to school, we were just needing an opening and money to make that happen. Thankfully, when  you get laid off you are then able to accept unemployment. Even better, if you go to school you can continue to receive the unemployment without needing to look for work. Both of our families are supporting our decision for Phillip to go to school full time and for that to be his main focus, I am so excited for him.

Now that we had a plan of what Phillip was going to do we had to decide what we would do about our living situation. Again, we prayed and God led. We were thinking about selling our home. But then something better came along... my uncle happened to be moving to our city and was needing to RENT a home! We willingly offered our home and they happily accepted it. As for where Phillip, myself and our son would live... well we had an offer we couldn't refuse...

My parents offered for us to move in with them. They have 2 rooms available in their house. So it worked. Phillip and I have had to condense ALOT! We have trashed so much stuff, given bags and bags and boxes to Goodwill, reduced and then reduced some more! We have alot of our furniture in a 10x15 storage unit now and it is pretty close to exploding. Iden currently has his own bedroom and when the baby gets here they will share. Phillip and I are in the bedroom I grew up in and I think we're both having a hard time adjusting to the small space.

Currently OUR bathroom is in the process of being remodeled (which is really exciting and my mom is super happy that it is getting done) BUT it's taking alot longer than expected. In our bathroom there is only a sink. So that means that there are 5 people that are sharing one bathroom that is in my parents bedroom... craziness I tell you.

Throughout the process of unpacking we are realising that we still have too much stuff... so we're getting rid of more stuff and trying to condense and make it work. As much as I love organizing... this is really tiring and time consuming. Especially for a full-time working pregnant mama. Whew! Boxes are almost empty and soon I will be able to paint both rooms and hang up pictures which I hope will make it feel more like home. Any advice on making space/organizing/decorating small spaces?


- Becky